I Dearly Love Being Southern

There are certain things that only Southerners know or appreciate about the South. Northerners can try to understand, but mostly, they don't even know WHAT they don't understand.

I am proud to be from the South where tea is sweet, accents are sweeter; summer starts in April; front porches are wide and words are long; macaroni and cheese is a vegetable; pecan pie is a staple; Y’all is the only proper pronoun; chicken is fried and biscuits come w/gravy; everything is darling and someone is always getting their heart blessed.

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

Sorghum. Molasses, honeysuckle, cane syrup, orange blossom honey. Who the hell needs Splenda when you've got options like that?

Lip-smackin good eats - Church lady banana pudding, grits, sweet tea you can stand a spoon up in, and pot likker.

Y'all. The South is the only linguistic region in all of Christendom who has solved the problem of the second-person plural. Don't even pretend like "you guys" covers it. 

In the South the ladies cry tears straight from the Mississippi and always smell faintly of cottonwood and peaches.

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!