I Am in Charge (written for Joan while fighting breast cancer)

I AM IN CHARGE

I am in charge of piled papers, recipes and books
Of the dusty old barn and tack on rusty hooks.

I am in charge of the photos hanging on the wall

Of three cats, two horses, the dog laying in the hall.

I am in charge of my wrap-around porch

Its rocking chairs, plastic plants and tarnished brass torch.

I’m in charge of cooking, the kitchen’s my domain

Flamingos and magnets, even the stinkbugs I disdain.

For someone in charge, I’m feeling a loss of control

New words and schedules and tests take their toll.

“Your right breast needs another look; please sign on this line.”

But I’ve been in charge of this thing six decades, it’s mine!

I think I’ll ignore it and be in charge for today

The intrusions aren’t welcome, on my porch I’ll stay.

I’ll watch how the light lingers in trees and how the hawk flies

And I’ll listen to marsh bugs and gaze upon star-filled skies.

As I’m finally quiet and hear that little voice inside

The one that gently whispers, from me you can’t hide.

Let me be in charge it says; I know you the best

I made you and formed you and gave you that breast.

You can trust me, I’ve got you, relax and let go

I’ve always been in charge, just to let you know.

I know you’re feeling out of control and fear is all you see

But when you do, remember I love you unconditionally.

I accept you with your ups and downs

I’ll hold you up when you think you might drown.

I’m there when you just need someone to care

I’ve given you friends when you need to share.

You’re still in charge of your response to this trial

You’ve got the reins on whether you cry or smile.

Just remember, dear child, no matter what comes

You know where your hope and your strength come from.

Don’t worry about tomorrow, just live for today

Put your hand in mine and I’ll show you the way

Let me be your refuge and strength to get through

Go ahead, be mad and cry; just remember… I’ve got you.

I AM in charge.

…for Joan from Cheryl (2010)