Disconnecting

Living "wide", a nagging and urgent theme being birthed in me. It's been there for a while but I've pushed that inner voice down, trying to ignore something primally honest on a gut level. I've sold my soul to social media, tv, all the other voices - blah-blah-blah...

My goals are unfocused, the twenty or so years remaining are more precious. Instead of receiving and following internal feedback and direction, I depend on the shallow validations and thumbs up of Facebook, all the other voices are deafening. I'm compromised.  It's building in me every day. Disconnect. Disconnect. Disconnect. Stop living vicariously thru highly edited, glossed-up versions of other people's lives, what they want you to see. Stop watching the news which seems to be all bad causing me to lose hope. 

There are words inside me that need to be written, but not on Facebook. There is art in me that needs to be painted because it is a visceral expression of my soul, not to get a thumbs up. There are books, great books, that I want to read instead of FB posts. I need real relationships today not those from years past, in another life - looking backward always. 

So many live life like if they don't Instagram it, it didn’t really happen. When people start falling off the end of the Grand Canyon trying to take the perfect selfie to post for a thumbs up or emoticon, there is something seriously effed up. Am I the only one disturbed? I doubt it. I need to once again live my life. Seeking simplicity and quality. Life has become too shallow and anxiety is the fruit. 

“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it."

~ Seneca