GRITS - (Girls Raised In The South)

Hey, ya'll! I've been thinkin about home, which for me is North Carolina. Baby James had it right - "In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina." Somebody yesterday at the aquarium in La Jolla laughed when I said I was "fixin to" go down to the village and asked where in the south I was from. My son just now busted my chops for saying "over yonder." Seemed pretty clear to me! Made me start thinking about all the south"rn slang I grew up with and still fall easily into. Things like, "I swanee hon, are you gonna park out in the north 40?" In the south you can say just about anything about anybody as long as you add “Well Bless Your Heart!” at the end. Mama would say, "The kids were out gallivantin all day." or, "I'm madder than a wet hen, go fetch me a switch cause I'm gonna tan your hide!" Where I come from you know that "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" are required, I don't care how old you are. In the south, unless you want a switchin' you best use your manners because momma and daddy didn't raise me a fool!

I say "supper" instead of dinner and never thought anything of it until a lady in an elevator last year commented I must be from the south. Where I'm from, menus list Mac & Cheese as a vegetable. When I ordered grits in San Diego the girl asked me what "a grit" was! Wonder what she'd have said to chitlin cornbread or liver mush?Who wants to say grace? Well, I declare! Quit wallerin around on the floor! Mind yer manners! Quit smackin yer lips! Raisin' a rukus. Ya reckon! Pocketbook (purse). Cut off the spigot. Rightcheer! (Right here.) Looky here, you need to quit yer bellyachin' or I'm gonna give you somethin' to cry about! Fer cryin' out loud, shut the ice box and go staump that mud off your shoes! I'll do it directly. I'm gonna wash yer mouth out with soap! She is knee high to a grasshopper! My grandma from Asheville once told me I was "cuter than a bug's ear but if I didn't stop growing soon she was gonna put a rock on my head!" Go crack the winda! Ya'll is a proper noun in the south where we G.R.I.T.S. call everyone sweetie or darlin'. I once slipped up and called the President of the College where I worked as his assistant, sweetie. He, being from Berkeley, CA looked at me like I'd lost my ever lovin' mind.

By the way, what in tarnation is going on with this election? It's goin' to hell in a handbasket and all cattywampus. Trump's gittin too big for his britches and his chances of winning are deader'n a doornail. He ain't right in the head and thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow - bless his heart! If humility and good sense was lard he wouldn't have enough to grease a pan. I swanee, I'll be plum glad when this election is over! Mama didn't raise no fool though - I'll be votin' #PenceForPresident.


Cheryl, a Southern girl, raised on sweet tea and a whole lotta Jesus!